Death Island Disc

It's a four hour round trip from Borley Green to Covent Garden, discounting the time spent staring at the departure board. So four hours to spend another two talking about death may sound a little strange.
          On the 26th November I visited the Wild Food Cafe in Covent Garden. A Death Cafe was being held there by Anja Saunders and Kate Hambleton. Thirty people sat in the cafe, ate and drank and shared their thoughts on life and death. It was a thought provoking and positive experience
          The quote of the evening for me was 'Today is a good day to die.' Had you lived your life as you wanted and achieved your goals? What about the important stuff, telling people you loved them and all the other stuff you mean to say but never do? No, today would not be a good day to die for me. Too much left unsaid and undone.
          Kate spoke about having a death song. American Indians had one they would chant throughout their lives and which would then give them comfort in times of adversity.
          What would be my 'Death Island disc' I speculated. Difficult to say, but it would have to bring a smile to my face, the King Louie song from the Jungle Book perhaps?
          A man sitting next to me, with some hesitation, spoke of the death of his father and of his love and loathing for him. Did it help I don't know. I've always found expressing my own thoughts out loud therapeutic.
          The evening throbbed with positive energy. A microphone passed round the room and people gave us glimpses of their lives and of their loss.
          A year to live, How would you live your life if you only had 12 months to live? It makes you think.
          We were asked to think about death. Do I fear death? No. Really? Not sure.
          Would I be sad if my children died absolutely. But would I have wanted to live without them absolutely not.
          Several people spoke of the deaths they had experienced, often quite sudden.
          The Death Cafe made it okay to talk about death, made it natural. After all we must all die someday.
          Well done to Kate and Anja for a great evening.

There are some very nice people in Bury St Edmunds

It's always nice to have your faith in your fellow man and woman restored. Both of my teenage daughters have come home crestfallen in recent weeks and announced they'd lost their purse on the bus.

          On both occasions purse and contents, have been returned intact. The second purse to go missing had more than £50.00 in it.
          So a big thank you to the nice people who handed the purses in and also to Galloways Coach hire, the drivers concerned and their lost property folk who made sure we got them safely back. Galloways staff we think you are terrific
          Thank you, you lovely people.  You are a source of inspiration in these troubled times.     
           And well done Galloways for employing such good people

To hydrate or not to hydrate that is the question?

Should you give food and water to a dying man? The simple answer is yes. But life isn't always simple. If you are dying then your desire for both is likely to be serverly diminished. As I blogged the other day newspapers have been full of headlines of elderly relatives been left by hospitals without food or water.
      If you look on the Internet there seems to be quite a lot of debate on whether or not to provide food and water to the dying. Particularly if it has to be administered by artificial means. For most if us we think of using a knife and fork when we eat and a glass to drink. We don't think of a tube placed through your nose and throat or directly into your stomach.
      Not nice to consider.  Don't most of us want a say on how we should be treated if the time ever comes?
     Living Wills or Advance decisions were big news a few years ago but have since retreated into the shadows. I set out below some notes I've prepared on what making an advance decision involves.
     You don't need to put your wishes in writing unless you want to refuse life saving treatment. An important thing not to forget.
     As always this is general advice. You should take specific advice on your circumstances before acting

Making and Advance Decision - "Living will"

 

 

1.       An advance decision is a written statement which states what medical treatment is not to be carried out or continued if you lose mental capacity.  It does not form part of your will and is a totally separate document to it.  It applies during your life whereas your will only comes into effect on your death.

Mental capacity means the ability to understand the affect of your decisions.  Can a person:

1.1     understand and make sense of what is being said to them

1.2     making a rational decision based on what they have been told

1.3     express or otherwise communicate that decision.

2.         An advance decision won’t apply where:

 2.1       Un-specified treatment

The advance decision must specify what medical treatment is not to be carried out.  It will only apply to specified treatments.  You can make a statement in general terms so long as your intention and wishes are clear.

 2.2     Absent circumstances

Any circumstances specified in the advance decision are absent.

2.3     Un-anticipated circumstances

There are reasonable grounds for believing that circumstances exist which you didn’t anticipate at the time of making the advance decision and which would have affected your decision had you anticipated them e.g. medical advances

 

2.4       No declaration as to life saving treatment

The advance decision won’t apply to life saving treatment unless it contains a specific statement that it is to apply even if life is at risk

 

2.5      It conflicts with a Personal Welfare Lasting Power of Attorney

The advanced decision will become invalid if you later create a Personal Welfare Lasting Power of Attorney which would confer authority on the Attorney to give or refuse consent to the treatment to which the advance decision relates.

3.       Cancelling an advance decision

You can do this at anytime in whole or part.  Any cancellation does not need to be in writing

 

4.         What an advance decision cannot do

You are not permitted to:

 

4.1     Refuse basic nursing care essential to keep a person comfortable, such as washing, bathing and mouth care

 4.2     Refuse the offer of food or drink by mouth

 4.3     Refuse the use of measures solely designed to maintain comfort - for example, painkillers

 4.4     Demand treatment that a healthcare team considers inappropriate

 4.5     Ask for anything that is against the law such as euthanasia or assisting someone in taking their own life.

 5.         Making an advance decision known

Close relatives should be informed of the existence of such a document and its whereabouts. In the event of you being admitted to hospital for any life threatening illness then it is important that its contents are made known to the Doctors and Nurses who are treating you.  We recommend before finalising the Advance decision you discuss its contents and implications with your GP.

 6.         Other formalities

6.1.    The advance statement must be in writing. If you want to refuse life saving treatement

6.2.    The person making the statement must sign it and have their signature witnessed.  The witness must sign in the presence of the person making the statement.

 7.         Review your advance decision regularly

You should keep the advance decision under regular review to make sure it still covers your circumstances and doesn’t otherwise become invalid due to any of the grounds set out at paragraph 2 above.

Pathways at the end of life

Is the Liverpool Care Pathway a 'death pathway and scandal?' Are patients being put on a 'pathway to death' so the hospital gets more money? Or is it a scheme that is intended to improve the quality of care in the final hours or days of a patient’s life, and to ensure a peaceful and comfortable death?
    What rights do you have as to the manner of your own death?
    These controversial and other issues will be discussed at the next Death Cafe
 

An evening of life, death, cake and contemplation

28^th November 7.00 pm - 9.00pm

At Orchard Vale Borley Green Woolpit IP30 9RW

For a map go to the Contact us page at www.happyendingfunerals.com

What is the Death Café?

At Death Cafes people come together in a relaxed and safe setting to discuss life and death, drink tea and eat delicious cake.  The objective of Death Cafe is "To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives".

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows." - Pope Paul VI, Italian pope, 1897-1978

The idea of running Death Cafes came from the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz. Jon Underwood has brought the idea to the UK.  The first Death Cafe took place in Jon's basement in September 2011. Since then Death Cafes have been held in the Royal Festival Hall, a yurt, cool cafes and people's houses. Over 200 people have so far attended a Death Café in the UK. The events have invariably been very special and feedback has been fantastic.

Death Cafes are always offered:

 On a not for profit basis though, to be sustainable, we try to cover expenses through donations and fundraising

In an accessible, respectful and confidential space, free of discrimination, where people can express their views safely

With no intention of leading participants towards any particular conclusion, product or course of action

Alongside refreshing drinks, nourishing food – and cake!

RSVP if you would like to attend (so we know how much cake we need!)

For more details call Nigel George on 01449 737582 or email ng@georgeandco.co.uk

 

Want to know more about the Death Café? Go to www.deathcafe.com

Age discrimination getting it right

Want to have a fixed retirement age for your employees? This is an issue which continues to bedevil businesses. I reproduce below details of the latest employer to fall foul from the excellent employment law bulletin of Daniel Barnett

 

Daniel Barnett's employment law bulletin

ECJ - Age Discrimination and Retirement

[Thanks to Emma Price of Temple Garden Chambers for preparing this case summary]

Is lowering the compulsory retirement age for judges from 70 to 62 justified age discrimination?

No, says the CJEU in EC v Hungary, because it is not proportionate as regards the objectives pursued.

The amendment gave rise to a difference in treatment based on age between persons within a given profession. The aims of this amendment were legitimate: firstly, standardisation, in the context of professions in the public sector, of the age limit for compulsory retirement; and secondly, the establishment of a 'more balanced age structure' facilitating access for young lawyers to the professions of judge, prosecutor and notary and guaranteeing them an accelerated career.

However, whilst the lowering of the retirement age was appropriate in pursuit of the first aim, it was not necessary considering the interests of those forced to retire early and the fact that the amendment was not gradually staggered. The second aim was not appropriate as the short term effects of vacating numerous posts, which will be liable to be occupied by young lawyers, could not be said to achieve a truly balanced age structure in the medium and long term.

 

Email: daniel.barnett@outertemple.com

www.outertemple.com

Are we all to blame? Does our unwillingness to cause 'outrage' result in child abuse?

In the early 1990s, allegations of the abuse in almost 40 childrens' homes in Wales started to surface and in March 1994 Clwyd County Council commissioned an independent inquiry into claims of widespread abuse across north Wales.

          But the inquiry's report was never published and the copies were pulped to ensure the local authority was able to maintain its insurance cover.

          BBC New Wales 5.11.12

I heard the above story as I was driving home. I was struck by the concealment of abuse in order to maintain insurance cover.

          It is also alleged there was a cover up to protect the Establishment.  There have been similar suggestions that Jimmy Saville was protected because of his position. What was the BBC doing running tributes for a man who was the subject of so much rumour and who was being investigated by News Night for child abuse?
          We should not be surprised if a cover up for the benefit of certain parts of the Establishment is found in the new Welsh enquiry or at the BBC.
          The BBC having allowed Jim to Fix It for so many children had a problem in acknowledging he had his own way of 'fixing children'  How embarrassing for such an august body if that came out.'
          Once you get on the back of the Tiger it can be very hard to get off.
          Protection of its reputation and authority were the prime motivating factors behind the Catholic Church's concealment of child abuse.
          It's been said that the Nazi's couldn't have done what they did without at least the tactic consent of the majority of the German people. For evil to succeed it only needs good men to stay silent.
          We live in a society which observes the pecking order. Those in positions of authority are given respect.
          It can be argued that with out a chain of command there would be chaos. If we have no respect or regard for those in authority there would be anarchy. But how far should that regard and respect go? To what extent should we question and hold to account our 'elders and betters?'
          Who questioned the pulping of the Welsh report? Why did junior members of the BBC and others find themselves powerless when it came to voicing there concerns over Jimmy Saville? Why did those with authority say and do nothing?
          Is it because we live in a culture of silence where each must know his place and protect his position?
          In all these cases people sat on information. This was done either to protect others or more insidiously to protect their own position. Nobody wanted to 'rock the boat'  We live in a society where such actions are frowned upon.
          Such behaviour is perhaps not to be blamed. As a society we are herd animals. We seek consensus and want to get on with our friends and colleagues.  To succeed in a business most of us follow the corporate culture. As a result we are reluctant to take action that is regarded as reckless or irresponsible. We are most of us conservative with a small 'c ' in our outlook and attitudes.
          Our children see how we behave and follow our teaching.  No one wants to be seen as an outsider. Those who are different and show it can tread a lonely path. Often regarded as arrogant, or freaks, or both. In the land of the blind the one eyed man is a pain in the arse.
          Because of our reluctance to 'make waves' bad things can happen.
          So when I ask are we all to blame for North Wales, Jimmy Saville etc I think to some extent we are.
           The late, great, Irish comic, Dave Allen said "I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things."
          If we all looked a little more and were willing to provoke a little outrage, we might live in a far better society.

 

 

Twitter fiction - a story in 140 characters

There is a great art to writing a good short story. But how about telling a tale in no more than a tweet?  I set out below a few efforts by me and my chums from Write Now

“Mummy?” Bloodied, she held him. Torn nails, aching, bruises delicate as petals. “It’s ok, Daddy’s gone.” He slumped, the knife in full view.

 Frances Wakeling

 The hidden grave I dug, marked by a flintstone, was too shallow. She deserved greater depth.

Wilf Jones

Came out of LIDL, no keys. Re-entered. No keys handed in. Searched shop. Shit! Can't get home, can't get in the house. Keys in car door. Der!

I love you. I hate you. The question is eating me from the inside. Do I love more than I hate?  Don't know. So, I must leave you.

My boy Bill was tall and not tough, not like a tree, more like a willow whip. But Bill was the end. The beginning was, no knickers.

Our neighbours have a dog. It barks. I don't like barking dogs. They didn't appreciate the recipe I popped in their letterbox.

Carolyn Belcher

 She was young, but looked 16. The DJ didn't know, and never asked. She picked up the phone and dialled. How young? He was about to find out.

She met him again and wondered why she'd ever let him go. A ring on his finger. 'Married?' 'Not any more,' he said, twisting it off.

George Wicker

It was their secret, no one would ever know of their illicit affair. As he removed the condom they stared in horror at the tear in the end.

 He liked the sun, to feel its warmth. Normally he wore a hat as he burned easily. He looked at the axe man, there didn't seem any point today.

 Nigel George

 

If you want to know more about the group go to:

 www.writenowgroup.co.uk

 

The Death Café comes to Woolpit - How to scatter your ashes in Debenhams!

“It is the first time I have been able to talk about my mother’s death without ending up a gibbering wreck”
          This parting comment brought home to me what the Death Café was all about.  An opportunity for people to have a space in which they could discuss their thoughts and fears about death openly.
          Suffolk held its first Death Café on the 24^th October.  With the addition of four Buddhists from Norfolk, twenty nine people gathered upstairs at the Woolpit Institute to eat Victoria sponge and Bakewell tart, and talk about life and death.
          The conversation was wide ranging.  The problem with scattering ashes on a windy day come up more than once.  I particularly enjoyed discussing the illicit scattering of ashes 'Great Escape' style.  One person commented she spent a lot of time at the Clinique counter in Debenhams and would like to have her ashes scattered there.  I predict a great future for guerrilla  ash scattering. 
          Ashes apart, feelings and attitudes to death were explored.  Several present commented how it was easier to discuss such matters with strangers than with the people that they knew.
          The question of who had control of funeral arrangements was a hot topic.  Several people were concerned that they should be seen off in the manner that they wanted.
          I was taken by the openness of those who having found it difficult to discuss such issues with their parents were far more open to discussing the question of death with their children.  I was asked whether or not I’d discussed death with my own children and admitted that I had not.  Arriving home we promptly had such a conversation.
          My daughter India commented her School had experienced more than one death and holding of a Death Café for the school children would be a great idea.  This is something I hope to explore further.
          “Why", asked one attendee "if a child is murdered by a paedophile should they have a church service which is televised and presided over by a Bishop when a child who dies of cancer does so in anonymity.  Is one child’s life more important than others?”
          When people die do we still see their echo?  One person described a very vivid experience of being scolded by his deceased mother when he spilt  sugar over the dinner table.  Another commented how they thought they had seen their dead mother in the street on more than one occasion despite the fact that their mother was not only dead but had died and lived in another country.
          All present were invited to take part in the Queen Victoria and Ena Sharples test.  Ena was very upfront in her relation to her own mother’s death whereas Queen Victoria spent some 40 years in seclusion and mourning.  The general view was that death was something to be upfront about and not hidden away in a dark corner.
          Our first Death Café had opened a door that many of those present wanted to go through again.  We will be holding further Death Café’s in East Anglia.

 

Whistle while you 'worker'

Not infrequently, I find myself pointing out to employers the risk of using self-employed consultants.  You may call someone self-employed and they may agree to it, until you have a falling out.  At that stage, they start to scream they’re an employee and have been unfairly dismissed.

What more frequently passes ‘under the wire’, is the question of whether such people qualify as workers.  A worker is not an employee, but they do have rights.  These include the right to holiday pay and not to have unlawful deductions from wages.  A worker is anyone who works under a contract to perform work personally for another person, where that other party is not their customer or client.  The question of whether a person is a client or a customer, thus removing an individual’s worker status, can sometimes be difficult to determine.

In the case of Hospital Medical Group Ltd v Westwood the Court of Appeal provided timely guidance.

Mr Westwood was a senior partner in a GP’s surgery.  He provided hair restoration surgery to HMG Ltd.  Mr Westwood had no obligation to carry out work and HMG Ltd were not obliged to provide it.  So he couldn’t be classed as an employee. 

Mr Westwood ran his own surgery and undertook work for another clinic advising on trans-gender issues.  He was paid a percentage of the fee received from the patient by HMG and, for all purposes, was treated as a self-employed independent contractor.

HMG Ltd brought the arrangement abruptly to an end.  An unhappy Mr Westwood went to the Employment Tribunal who held he was a worker.  They upheld his claim to holiday pay and unlawful deduction from wages.  That is to say, the payments he hadn’t received from the company.

Matters went as far as the Court of Appeal. They agreed Mr Westwood ran his own business.  But they said he had three distinct businesses, one of which was the hair restoration service he provided to HMG Ltd.  The court had to decide whether HMG qualified as a customer or client, with the result that Mr Westwood would not be a worker.

They applied the “Integration Test”; To what degree were the services of Mr Westwood integrated in the business of HMG?  The court decided the company was not just another purchaser of Mr Westwood’s medical skills.  He had contracted specifically and exclusively with it to carry out the relevant services and had done so separately from his surgery and other work.  Mr Westwood was an integral part of HMG Ltd’s operations, even though he was in business on his own account.  By example, he was referred to as one of the company’s surgeons in their marketing material.

This is a point many businesses, who wish to appear bigger than they are, should heed.  If you represent to the outside world that someone is part of your business, then you may find the courts agreeing with you.  The end result being your self-employed contractor acquires  rights you hadn’t planned to provide.

The Court of Appeal rejected HMG Ltd’s claims that a party must be a customer or client if it contracts with an individual who is in business on their own account.  Such an interpretation would exclude all people in business on their own account from being workers.  If this had been Parliament’s intention, then the legislation would have said so.

There is a common misconception that if an individual has their own business, they cannot be an employee.  Some people also take the view that if a person has more than one job, they cannot be an employee.  If this latter were the case, then no part-time employee would ever have employment law rights.

The important lesson to learn is not what other business interests a contractor may have, but what the nature of their business relationship is with you.

Whatever you say in writing, the courts are well aware there is a world of difference between the written word and what happens in practice.  Life rarely does ‘what it says on the tin’.

Queen Victoria or Ena Sharples ?

Is Death to be embraced or should you spend your life in mourning?

For those less grey haired than me, Ena Sharples was an early stalwart and busy body on Coronation Street in the 1960’s.  Think Dot Cotton from Eastenders.  Queen Victoria - who was never on Coronation Street but coincidentally plays a pub in Eastenders - was as the name implies Queen of England during Victorian times.  You can’t beat having an age named after yourself!

Ena and Vicky had sharply different views on death.

An early 1960’s episode of Coronation Street involves a conversation between Ena Sharples and her then sidekick Martha Longhurst.  Ena says she feels ready to go to the cemetery and would like to go the way her mother did.  Martha responds that Ena’s mother had a beautiful ending, to which Ena replies; “Lovely, she sat up, broke wind and died”.

To talk about death in such an open manner in 1960 seems a little advanced for its time.  Having said that, people born at the beginning of the 20^th Century had far more experience of death, particularly during infancy, than we ever have now.  Life expectancy in 1900 was 51.  It’s now 79. 

Queen Victoria became a widow at the age of 42.  She spent the next 40 years of her life mourning her 'dear' Albert’s death.

Albert was an extraordinary character. He reformed and modernised university curricula, staged the Great Exhibition, had 9 children with Victoria (clearly no slouch between the sheets) and gave us the Christmas tree.

He led a short but rich life.  How different it would have been if she'd spent those years celebrating his legacy and not mourning his death. Yes death is sad and we should mourn. But I'm sure Albert would have wanted her to live her life as well.

So which camp are you in?  Ena Sharples or Queen Victoria?

Want to discuss this and other issues more? Do you like cake? Then come to the Death Cafe on the 24th October. See blog entries below for more information

WHAT RIGHTS FOR SURROGATE PARENTS?

While there is an ever-growing body of protection for parents who give birth or adopt, what rights do surrogate parents have?  Not many.  They aren’t covered by maternity or adoption legislation.

That may all change.  Two claims are currently in the High Court lodged by Surrogacy UK and a woman directly affected by her lack of protection.  She  was made redundant while taking unpaid parental leave, following the birth of a child through a surrogacy arrangement.

She had brought a claim under the Human Rights Act 1989 claiming she was discriminated against.  She was not entitled to any statutory paid leave, nor given employment protection while off caring for her son.  Judicial review proceedings have been commenced.

Watch this space !

What a beautiful ending?

Coronation Street Episode 2 1960

The topic of conversation in the Rovers snug is death.

Ena Sharples: Sometimes I think I am bout ready to go down to that cemetery.

Martha Longhurst: Really?

Ena Sharples: I would just like to go the way me mother did.

Martha Longhurst: Ooh, that were a beautiful ending.

Ena Sharples: Lovely - she just sat up, broke wind, and died.

 

How would you like to go?

 

 

An evening of life, death, cake and contemplation

24^th October 7.00 pm - 9.00pm

At the Woolpit Institute (1^st floor)

The Street, Woolpit, Bury St Edmunds IP30 9QN

 (The Institute is located in the village centre. Directions at www.woolpit.org)

What is the Death Café?

At Death Cafes people come together in a relaxed and safe setting to discuss life and death, drink tea and eat delicious cake.  The objective of Death Cafe is "To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives".

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows." - Pope Paul VI, Italian pope, 1897-1978

The idea of running Death Cafes came from the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz. Jon Underwood has brought the idea to the UK.  The first Death Cafe took place in Jon's basement in September 2011. Since then Death Cafes have been held in the Royal Festival Hall, a yurt, cool cafes and people's houses. Over 200 people have so far attended a Death Café in the UK. The events have invariably been very special and feedback has been fantastic.

Death Cafes are always offered:

On a not for profit basis though, to be sustainable, we try to cover expenses through donations and fundraising
·      

In an accessible, respectful and confidential space, free of discrimination, where people can express their views safely

With no intention of leading participants towards any particular conclusion, product or course of action

Alongside refreshing drinks, nourishing food – and cake!

RSVP if you would like to attend (so we know how much cake we need!)

For more details call Nigel George on 01449 737582 or email nigel.george@keme.co.uk

Want to know more about the Death Café? Go to www.deathcafe.com

Water on Mars - signs found of prehistoric Trout?

According to unreliable sources at the Borley Green Space Centre the finding of an empty Mothers Pride bread rapper (much loved by anglers to keep their sandwiches in) and what could have been the remains of a fishing float have led to rampant and wholly unwarranted speculation that the rivers of Mars were once full of Trout.
     Watch this space for more groundless claims on what NASA is refusing to tell us!

Don't speak ill of the living dead!

So Obama delivered a pants performance in the debate with Romney. I'm reminded of how impressed we all were by Nick Clegg's performance in the debates we had. How wrong we all turned out to be.
    "You can talk the talk, but can you walk to the walk?" I don't think anyone would seriously suggest Clegg could do both at the same time.

Mary Poppins and the minimum wage

Is your au pair entitled to claim the minimum wage? Currently £6.19 per hour if she’s over 21.

     It can be a time consuming process removing all the eggy bread, pasta etc. that your little darlings may throw to the floor with gay abandon.  My kids worked on a one in three ratio when they were small.  Eat a mouthful, throw the next one on the floor and smear the third over their face, body or any other surface in easy reach.  So if you're paying for every minute they spend looking after your little treasures it can soon mount up.

     The Court of Appeal have been asked if the minimum wage can be claimed where certain tasks are not shared with the family?  In Nambalat v Taher & others they came up with a big fat NO!  Provided you treat them as part of the family and not just some skivvy to be exploited at will.
    The National Minimum Wage Regulations say domestic workers and au pairs can’t claim it if they live in the family home, get free board and lodgings and are treated generally as part of the family.
    However if you take the Cinderella approach to your domestic help then the situation may be different.  So the next time you’re considering asking the kids nanny to spend the evening cleaning your car as opposed to joining in the family meal think twice!

Is talking about death morbid?

My good old Oxford English dictionary tells me that morbid means:

'an abnormal and unhealthy interest in unpleasant subjects especially death and disease'

Can you have a normal and healthy interest in death and disease? Doctors have an interest in both and no one would call them morbid. Their interest lies in preventing both. Very normal and healthy.
      What of the rest of us? Death is still regarded by many as a taboo subject, not to be discussed. Let us not tempt fate. If we don't want to tempt fate should we stop insuring our houses against fire and flood? Most of us do and our houses don't burn down or disappear under water as a result.
       Similarly many people don't make a will for the same reason. I can confirm that most of my clients go on to live long and happy lives after making a will. They have the added knowledge they've carried out some planning for when they die.
        So discussing a subject doesn't make it a fait accompli. Since I've embarked on this journey to the 'dark side,' I've come to realise how much light it throws back. The Egyptian question on death, 'did you bring joy to the world and did you find joy,' is one we should ask ourselves everyday.
        I tweeted the other day about a great blog entry by Lizzy Miles, who runs the Death Cafe in Columbus Ohio. To paraphrase she said 'The Death Cafe gives people the space to have the conversations we can't seem to have anywhere else. It gives people an opportunity to share their stories and that's what makes it special and beautiful.'
       So is talking about death morbid? No. It's not always an easy subject to discuss, but for some of us it's very important to be able to say what we feel about it. For others its never a bad idea to consider our own mortality and the value of doing things in life while you still can.

I'm running Suffolk's first Death Cafe on the 24th October. See posts below for further details.

What would you spend $2.5 billion on?

NASA has sent its latest space probe, Curiosity, a vehicle the size of a small car, to Mars to look for signs of life. For most of us, signs of life mean the lights on and the sound of a TV set. For NASA its detecting the presence of microbes that lived billions of years ago.
     As Dr McCoy would have said; 'It's life Jim but not as we know it.'
     If they'd gone in search of little green men (or women) - why must aliens be green? The Moon isn't green neither is Mars, do we have any green planets? I digress - it might have been worthwhile. But to spend oodles of cash looking for prehistoric signs of life that are equivalent to something nasty at the back of the fridge does make me wonder?
     If you had $2.5 billion what would you spend it on?

Was the Armada sunk by Martian Navy?

No

Is John Terry innocent?

It's not denied that Terry uttered the phrase "You fucking black cunt". It would be hard to do so. The video footage shows him clearly mouthing those words. In the criminal court guilt must be proved beyond all reasonable doubt. The Magistrate could not be sure - so I read - as to the context in which the phrase was used. So Terry was aquitted.
   The FA work on the balance of probabilities and also, apparently,  on the basis that it doesnt matter why you say it, saying it is an offence.
    On  a similar basis (balance of probabilities) ex PC Simon Harwood was aquitted by the criminal court but could well be found liable for Ian Tomlinson's death by a civil court.
    Look at the video footage on the Guardian website. Are these words spoken with a look of incredulity on Terry's face? "What? Are you suggesting I would call you a fucking black cunt?" Or are they spoken with derision?
    It may be that Terry is a far more erudite footballer than many would give him credit for. A cynic might say no, he just has some very clever and expensive lawyers.
    I do find it surprising that a footballer, particulalry in the middle of a game, would offer such a retort. I would have expected more a "What did you fucking say?"
   Like many others, I'm just a laptop pundit. As a lawyer I know the devil is always in the detail. I'm a strong believer in the presumption of innocence - let those ten 'tea leaves' (leaf - thief) go free before you send an innocent man down -  by the same token, however, my rose tinted spectacles were trampled into the mud many years ago.

Since writing the above I see the FA has delivered its verdict and found Terry's version of events difficult to believe. They do of course work to a different burden of proof. Would they have reached the same verdict if they'd had to be satisified beyond all reasonable doubt? From the reports it seems they probably would. You would have thought a Magistrate would have taken a fairly hardbitten view of the matter. Interesting to see the FA seem to be more cynical than the courts!

You made a right poll tax out of that!

Remember when the phrase 'You made a right poll tax out of that' was a way of saying you'd dropped an almighty clanger? Will the same term apply in years to come to Nick Clegg and Mitt Romney? As in 'You made a total Mitt Romney out of that!'
   Or, where its really awful, a 'Nick Romney,' to symbolise it was so bad you have to role them both into one!
   Or you could say, 'You made a total Sarah Palin out of it!'
   I could go on, Im sure there are lots more. All suggestions welcome.