There are some very nice people in Bury St Edmunds

It's always nice to have your faith in your fellow man and woman restored. Both of my teenage daughters have come home crestfallen in recent weeks and announced they'd lost their purse on the bus.

          On both occasions purse and contents, have been returned intact. The second purse to go missing had more than £50.00 in it.
          So a big thank you to the nice people who handed the purses in and also to Galloways Coach hire, the drivers concerned and their lost property folk who made sure we got them safely back. Galloways staff we think you are terrific
          Thank you, you lovely people.  You are a source of inspiration in these troubled times.     
           And well done Galloways for employing such good people

To hydrate or not to hydrate that is the question?

Should you give food and water to a dying man? The simple answer is yes. But life isn't always simple. If you are dying then your desire for both is likely to be serverly diminished. As I blogged the other day newspapers have been full of headlines of elderly relatives been left by hospitals without food or water.
      If you look on the Internet there seems to be quite a lot of debate on whether or not to provide food and water to the dying. Particularly if it has to be administered by artificial means. For most if us we think of using a knife and fork when we eat and a glass to drink. We don't think of a tube placed through your nose and throat or directly into your stomach.
      Not nice to consider.  Don't most of us want a say on how we should be treated if the time ever comes?
     Living Wills or Advance decisions were big news a few years ago but have since retreated into the shadows. I set out below some notes I've prepared on what making an advance decision involves.
     You don't need to put your wishes in writing unless you want to refuse life saving treatment. An important thing not to forget.
     As always this is general advice. You should take specific advice on your circumstances before acting

Making and Advance Decision - "Living will"

 

 

1.       An advance decision is a written statement which states what medical treatment is not to be carried out or continued if you lose mental capacity.  It does not form part of your will and is a totally separate document to it.  It applies during your life whereas your will only comes into effect on your death.

Mental capacity means the ability to understand the affect of your decisions.  Can a person:

1.1     understand and make sense of what is being said to them

1.2     making a rational decision based on what they have been told

1.3     express or otherwise communicate that decision.

2.         An advance decision won’t apply where:

 2.1       Un-specified treatment

The advance decision must specify what medical treatment is not to be carried out.  It will only apply to specified treatments.  You can make a statement in general terms so long as your intention and wishes are clear.

 2.2     Absent circumstances

Any circumstances specified in the advance decision are absent.

2.3     Un-anticipated circumstances

There are reasonable grounds for believing that circumstances exist which you didn’t anticipate at the time of making the advance decision and which would have affected your decision had you anticipated them e.g. medical advances

 

2.4       No declaration as to life saving treatment

The advance decision won’t apply to life saving treatment unless it contains a specific statement that it is to apply even if life is at risk

 

2.5      It conflicts with a Personal Welfare Lasting Power of Attorney

The advanced decision will become invalid if you later create a Personal Welfare Lasting Power of Attorney which would confer authority on the Attorney to give or refuse consent to the treatment to which the advance decision relates.

3.       Cancelling an advance decision

You can do this at anytime in whole or part.  Any cancellation does not need to be in writing

 

4.         What an advance decision cannot do

You are not permitted to:

 

4.1     Refuse basic nursing care essential to keep a person comfortable, such as washing, bathing and mouth care

 4.2     Refuse the offer of food or drink by mouth

 4.3     Refuse the use of measures solely designed to maintain comfort - for example, painkillers

 4.4     Demand treatment that a healthcare team considers inappropriate

 4.5     Ask for anything that is against the law such as euthanasia or assisting someone in taking their own life.

 5.         Making an advance decision known

Close relatives should be informed of the existence of such a document and its whereabouts. In the event of you being admitted to hospital for any life threatening illness then it is important that its contents are made known to the Doctors and Nurses who are treating you.  We recommend before finalising the Advance decision you discuss its contents and implications with your GP.

 6.         Other formalities

6.1.    The advance statement must be in writing. If you want to refuse life saving treatement

6.2.    The person making the statement must sign it and have their signature witnessed.  The witness must sign in the presence of the person making the statement.

 7.         Review your advance decision regularly

You should keep the advance decision under regular review to make sure it still covers your circumstances and doesn’t otherwise become invalid due to any of the grounds set out at paragraph 2 above.

Pathways at the end of life

Is the Liverpool Care Pathway a 'death pathway and scandal?' Are patients being put on a 'pathway to death' so the hospital gets more money? Or is it a scheme that is intended to improve the quality of care in the final hours or days of a patient’s life, and to ensure a peaceful and comfortable death?
    What rights do you have as to the manner of your own death?
    These controversial and other issues will be discussed at the next Death Cafe
 

An evening of life, death, cake and contemplation

28^th November 7.00 pm - 9.00pm

At Orchard Vale Borley Green Woolpit IP30 9RW

For a map go to the Contact us page at www.happyendingfunerals.com

What is the Death Café?

At Death Cafes people come together in a relaxed and safe setting to discuss life and death, drink tea and eat delicious cake.  The objective of Death Cafe is "To increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives".

"Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows." - Pope Paul VI, Italian pope, 1897-1978

The idea of running Death Cafes came from the work of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz. Jon Underwood has brought the idea to the UK.  The first Death Cafe took place in Jon's basement in September 2011. Since then Death Cafes have been held in the Royal Festival Hall, a yurt, cool cafes and people's houses. Over 200 people have so far attended a Death Café in the UK. The events have invariably been very special and feedback has been fantastic.

Death Cafes are always offered:

 On a not for profit basis though, to be sustainable, we try to cover expenses through donations and fundraising

In an accessible, respectful and confidential space, free of discrimination, where people can express their views safely

With no intention of leading participants towards any particular conclusion, product or course of action

Alongside refreshing drinks, nourishing food – and cake!

RSVP if you would like to attend (so we know how much cake we need!)

For more details call Nigel George on 01449 737582 or email ng@georgeandco.co.uk

 

Want to know more about the Death Café? Go to www.deathcafe.com

Age discrimination getting it right

Want to have a fixed retirement age for your employees? This is an issue which continues to bedevil businesses. I reproduce below details of the latest employer to fall foul from the excellent employment law bulletin of Daniel Barnett

 

Daniel Barnett's employment law bulletin

ECJ - Age Discrimination and Retirement

[Thanks to Emma Price of Temple Garden Chambers for preparing this case summary]

Is lowering the compulsory retirement age for judges from 70 to 62 justified age discrimination?

No, says the CJEU in EC v Hungary, because it is not proportionate as regards the objectives pursued.

The amendment gave rise to a difference in treatment based on age between persons within a given profession. The aims of this amendment were legitimate: firstly, standardisation, in the context of professions in the public sector, of the age limit for compulsory retirement; and secondly, the establishment of a 'more balanced age structure' facilitating access for young lawyers to the professions of judge, prosecutor and notary and guaranteeing them an accelerated career.

However, whilst the lowering of the retirement age was appropriate in pursuit of the first aim, it was not necessary considering the interests of those forced to retire early and the fact that the amendment was not gradually staggered. The second aim was not appropriate as the short term effects of vacating numerous posts, which will be liable to be occupied by young lawyers, could not be said to achieve a truly balanced age structure in the medium and long term.

 

Email: daniel.barnett@outertemple.com

www.outertemple.com

Are we all to blame? Does our unwillingness to cause 'outrage' result in child abuse?

In the early 1990s, allegations of the abuse in almost 40 childrens' homes in Wales started to surface and in March 1994 Clwyd County Council commissioned an independent inquiry into claims of widespread abuse across north Wales.

          But the inquiry's report was never published and the copies were pulped to ensure the local authority was able to maintain its insurance cover.

          BBC New Wales 5.11.12

I heard the above story as I was driving home. I was struck by the concealment of abuse in order to maintain insurance cover.

          It is also alleged there was a cover up to protect the Establishment.  There have been similar suggestions that Jimmy Saville was protected because of his position. What was the BBC doing running tributes for a man who was the subject of so much rumour and who was being investigated by News Night for child abuse?
          We should not be surprised if a cover up for the benefit of certain parts of the Establishment is found in the new Welsh enquiry or at the BBC.
          The BBC having allowed Jim to Fix It for so many children had a problem in acknowledging he had his own way of 'fixing children'  How embarrassing for such an august body if that came out.'
          Once you get on the back of the Tiger it can be very hard to get off.
          Protection of its reputation and authority were the prime motivating factors behind the Catholic Church's concealment of child abuse.
          It's been said that the Nazi's couldn't have done what they did without at least the tactic consent of the majority of the German people. For evil to succeed it only needs good men to stay silent.
          We live in a society which observes the pecking order. Those in positions of authority are given respect.
          It can be argued that with out a chain of command there would be chaos. If we have no respect or regard for those in authority there would be anarchy. But how far should that regard and respect go? To what extent should we question and hold to account our 'elders and betters?'
          Who questioned the pulping of the Welsh report? Why did junior members of the BBC and others find themselves powerless when it came to voicing there concerns over Jimmy Saville? Why did those with authority say and do nothing?
          Is it because we live in a culture of silence where each must know his place and protect his position?
          In all these cases people sat on information. This was done either to protect others or more insidiously to protect their own position. Nobody wanted to 'rock the boat'  We live in a society where such actions are frowned upon.
          Such behaviour is perhaps not to be blamed. As a society we are herd animals. We seek consensus and want to get on with our friends and colleagues.  To succeed in a business most of us follow the corporate culture. As a result we are reluctant to take action that is regarded as reckless or irresponsible. We are most of us conservative with a small 'c ' in our outlook and attitudes.
          Our children see how we behave and follow our teaching.  No one wants to be seen as an outsider. Those who are different and show it can tread a lonely path. Often regarded as arrogant, or freaks, or both. In the land of the blind the one eyed man is a pain in the arse.
          Because of our reluctance to 'make waves' bad things can happen.
          So when I ask are we all to blame for North Wales, Jimmy Saville etc I think to some extent we are.
           The late, great, Irish comic, Dave Allen said "I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things."
          If we all looked a little more and were willing to provoke a little outrage, we might live in a far better society.

 

 

Twitter fiction - a story in 140 characters

There is a great art to writing a good short story. But how about telling a tale in no more than a tweet?  I set out below a few efforts by me and my chums from Write Now

“Mummy?” Bloodied, she held him. Torn nails, aching, bruises delicate as petals. “It’s ok, Daddy’s gone.” He slumped, the knife in full view.

 Frances Wakeling

 The hidden grave I dug, marked by a flintstone, was too shallow. She deserved greater depth.

Wilf Jones

Came out of LIDL, no keys. Re-entered. No keys handed in. Searched shop. Shit! Can't get home, can't get in the house. Keys in car door. Der!

I love you. I hate you. The question is eating me from the inside. Do I love more than I hate?  Don't know. So, I must leave you.

My boy Bill was tall and not tough, not like a tree, more like a willow whip. But Bill was the end. The beginning was, no knickers.

Our neighbours have a dog. It barks. I don't like barking dogs. They didn't appreciate the recipe I popped in their letterbox.

Carolyn Belcher

 She was young, but looked 16. The DJ didn't know, and never asked. She picked up the phone and dialled. How young? He was about to find out.

She met him again and wondered why she'd ever let him go. A ring on his finger. 'Married?' 'Not any more,' he said, twisting it off.

George Wicker

It was their secret, no one would ever know of their illicit affair. As he removed the condom they stared in horror at the tear in the end.

 He liked the sun, to feel its warmth. Normally he wore a hat as he burned easily. He looked at the axe man, there didn't seem any point today.

 Nigel George

 

If you want to know more about the group go to:

 www.writenowgroup.co.uk

 

The Death Café comes to Woolpit - How to scatter your ashes in Debenhams!

“It is the first time I have been able to talk about my mother’s death without ending up a gibbering wreck”
          This parting comment brought home to me what the Death Café was all about.  An opportunity for people to have a space in which they could discuss their thoughts and fears about death openly.
          Suffolk held its first Death Café on the 24^th October.  With the addition of four Buddhists from Norfolk, twenty nine people gathered upstairs at the Woolpit Institute to eat Victoria sponge and Bakewell tart, and talk about life and death.
          The conversation was wide ranging.  The problem with scattering ashes on a windy day come up more than once.  I particularly enjoyed discussing the illicit scattering of ashes 'Great Escape' style.  One person commented she spent a lot of time at the Clinique counter in Debenhams and would like to have her ashes scattered there.  I predict a great future for guerrilla  ash scattering. 
          Ashes apart, feelings and attitudes to death were explored.  Several present commented how it was easier to discuss such matters with strangers than with the people that they knew.
          The question of who had control of funeral arrangements was a hot topic.  Several people were concerned that they should be seen off in the manner that they wanted.
          I was taken by the openness of those who having found it difficult to discuss such issues with their parents were far more open to discussing the question of death with their children.  I was asked whether or not I’d discussed death with my own children and admitted that I had not.  Arriving home we promptly had such a conversation.
          My daughter India commented her School had experienced more than one death and holding of a Death Café for the school children would be a great idea.  This is something I hope to explore further.
          “Why", asked one attendee "if a child is murdered by a paedophile should they have a church service which is televised and presided over by a Bishop when a child who dies of cancer does so in anonymity.  Is one child’s life more important than others?”
          When people die do we still see their echo?  One person described a very vivid experience of being scolded by his deceased mother when he spilt  sugar over the dinner table.  Another commented how they thought they had seen their dead mother in the street on more than one occasion despite the fact that their mother was not only dead but had died and lived in another country.
          All present were invited to take part in the Queen Victoria and Ena Sharples test.  Ena was very upfront in her relation to her own mother’s death whereas Queen Victoria spent some 40 years in seclusion and mourning.  The general view was that death was something to be upfront about and not hidden away in a dark corner.
          Our first Death Café had opened a door that many of those present wanted to go through again.  We will be holding further Death Café’s in East Anglia.